Let's Be Honest Here...

If I’m being completely honest, I’m terrible at reflecting throughout the writing process – heck I’m terrible with the whole writing process. I think this might actually be a significant reason I’ve struggled so much in finalizing my current research project. I read, and read, and read, but have very little written work to show for it. I can see things in my mind, but getting them on paper just seems so overwhelming. If I had written from the beginning I think this might have helped me sort out my ideas. Booth, Colomb and Williams (2008) state there are three main reasons researchers should write throughout the entire process; to remember, to understand and to test thinking. They conclude that “you can’t know how good your ideas are until you separate them from the swift and muddy flow of thought and fix them in an organized form that you—and your readers—can study” (p. 13). While this direct quote speaks more to the organization/presentation of the research project I believe it also applies to being reflexive – to understanding where you are as a researcher and being able to acknowledge your perspective and adjust aspects of your project accordingly. It’s all part of a process I need to work on incorporating into my own practice.

I don’t know why I’ve resisted so much. The emphasis of writing throughout the process has been present throughout my program, a key component of every class inquiry and otherwise. I’ve typically had to learn things the hard way and I’m sure this is just another example. Oh well, all I can do is move forward. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s class and the Watt (2007) reading have me thinking about my position as a researcher. If I am fortunate to gain access to my ideal research site for my dissertation I anticipate an extensive internal debate about my position as someone who is not quite an outsider, but definitely in no way an insider to the community. How do I see myself? How will I project myself to my participants who are 8^th graders at a rural charter school?  To their parents and the community? My father and his family are from this community and I grew up in a similar rural southern Indiana town. However, I hated it and got out at 16 swearing I’d never come back. I spent the majority of my adult life in Philadelphia and look forward to returning to a metropolitan center when I graduate.  If I’m honest, I stereotype people from this type of community as closed minded which is hypocritical and I know that there are a variety of people an beliefs in every community. I know this can’t be good for my positioning as a researcher. (I have seen some changes in acceptance among young adults so that is promising.) But how will I incorporate all of this into my dissertation especially since it will probably take the form of a case study reported in the traditional five chapter format?

On a different note – someone I truly admire for her ability to be reflexive and address this in her research is Simone Schweber. She eloquently weaves her positionality throughout her studies in such a manner that it’s easy to understand her bias and look beyond it to the findings. Her presence is felt throughout the paper, but unobtrusively so. If you have time I highly recommend checking out her own discussion involving reflexivity and positioning in a study she conducted at religious schools. “Donning wigs, divining feelings and other dilemmas of doing research” (Schweber, 2006). When I read this as a first year much of the internal struggle was lost on me. I’m interested to go back and see how my own understanding has matured.

Booth, W. C., Colomb, G. G., & Williams, J. M. (2008). The craft of research (3^rd ed.). Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.

Schweber, S. (2006). Donning wigs, divining feelings and other dilemmas of doing research in religious school contexts. Qualitative Inquiry, 12(6).

Watt, D. (2007). On becoming a qualitative researcher: The value of reflexivity. The Qualitative Report, 12(1), 82-101.